A corner of MY oWn

I feel very small myself….Do you?

after listening to stories, meeting up with people…i feel that there’s so much going on around me. Yet, i have no idea where am i suppose to start. how should i get myself involved. How to be part of the moving world.

There’s so much i want to do. yet. a person’s strengh has got its limitation.

I started working one and a half month ago. honestly, I consider myself quite lucky compared to other colleagues who entered the same time as me. Speaking of workload, superior n seniors, clients lar…..I shouldnt be complaining…i shouldnt be yelling that im tired…i shouldnt be stressed out…. There is much to learn..Yet, i started to freaked out. I cannot even handle the slightest pressure… kekekeke…i wonder, how will i survive for the next few years….

Everybody is working very hard to survive…and when i thought i was the one very "cham"…i thought of those who worked equally hard or even double harder.They are the ones who should be yelling and screaming. I asked myself : Who am i to do that?….

I began to feel ashame of myself. that’s not what a young chap should be, right?

The feeling just became very complicated. I felt very bad. I realised that i was dragging myself to work. No matter how hard i persuade myself to stay focus, it wasnt working. Its not a good sign isnt it…..

I must learn to let go. To learn from the very begining. To learn to be humble. To learn to be calm instead of being "tan kai" (nervous and tense up easily). To learn to think. To think before asking. Its important not to ask stupid questions.(but, Utilising my brain more is a very challenging task. Give some time to achieve it)….To learn to plan and be sytematic…….ARGHHH,…..So many things!!!!

I thought i was free from school and college. But come to think of it, its another classroom im in this time. Its the "Working society" class im enrolling in now….So everyone, wish me best of luck….. cross your fingers and hope that i’ll stay in this for quite some time k. Wishing you guys all the best in your studies or working or whatever lar…

How unusual?…well..

1. We traveled back home earlier this year. For the past few years, my family and i had been late for CNY’s eve reunion dinner. We always couldnt make it in time for the dinner. ( For 3-4 yrs i think) We end up having reunion "supper"…kekekeke….. BUT this year, we went home on eve’s morning..Started the journey around 330 am. Crazy….Well, just to avoid the terrible jam lar…. However, it turn out to be a smooth drive. Oh..i drove half way back too k….( proud of myself)…. …yes yes,while we were travelling towards north, we passed by padi fields. It was almost 715 am i think. The sky turned slowly frm pink blue to yellow grey and later orange. Sun ray spread through the wide padi fields. It was like a beautiful picture in front of me.I couldnt express myself. I was speechless for a while.

2. We went for movies on eve’s night rather than having our usual routine on CNY 1st day. KEkeke…Normally, (all the grandchildren) we will go for a movie on the 1st day just for a past time. But we had it earlier this year. They couldnt wait to get out of the house. …..sigh…how sad… And as for the movie we watched….KUNG FU DUNK!!!! It was funny..But kind of a hopeless movie though. Honestly, If given a chance, I would rather buy the DVD to watch at home than spend money to watch it in the cinema …..

3. Spent more time sleeping… Kekeke…normally i wouldnt sleep till late morning. It will cause me headache and a whole day of discomfort. However, i got sleepy easily this yr round. I will sleep after breakfast, after lunch and go to bed early at night. How strange!!! Well, go on……, say it….., its like a pig’s life right!

4. My dad will always make it a point to visit his kampung, Baling. As usual, we will go to this temple situated inside a mountain hole to pray. After that, my dad will go round to his kampung to see how its being developed and he will start to tell his childhood stories……THis year, he decided to take a stroll down the river side, where their old house was situated, with my aunties…. hahaha…guess what? they met their malay childhood friend cum neighbour. What a coincidence! We were then invite to their house for a chat. How nice…(I mean, you wouldnt meet these kind of people in KL town. They are far meaner.) Grandma met up with the neighbours whom she have not seen them for decades…They hug each other and called each other "nyonya"…(that’s how they address each other) and even spoke in malay slang which is only understandable among them….Not even my dad understands….hhehehehehe….Some of the nenek is ald reaching 90+ of age… Yet they look better than those who are 70s living around KL…They say living in kampung prolongs your life…But i put it this way: Staying in KL shortened out lives actually

5. Less group photo taken…

6. Having KFC twice in 2 days…crazzy…

7. Had 3 days of longan with ice-cream soda drink. I tell you, it was so hot tht we made the drink each day to cool ourselves down. Sigh..hopefully it doesnt increase my chance of getting diabetis…

8. LOst a lot while gambling…to who?…my mom! She wore a very very "ang ang" shirt that day..and maybe bcoz of that, she manage to sapu all my cousins’ "bullet" (money) and mine too!!!! It was reallly her day! unbelievable…

9.. Oooh…i went for morning walk and visited their market…

emm…tht’s pretty unusual to me…i know it may be not for some of you…However there’s a few things tht are common every new year…kekeke…the consumption of new year cookies…it never go less…the angpows… the boring tv programmes (but we still watched)…kakakaka…..

What about you? Had an unusual CNY like me too?